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IT recruiting and Emotional Intelligence #3

In the last part of this series of 3 articles about IT recruiting and EI we present you how interpersonal and general mood factors (Reuven Bar-On) influence IT recruiter’s activity, and how and why is so important to be not only cognitive but also emotionally intelligent in this industry.

Stress Tolerance

When you are not stressed in recruiting, it only means that something awfully wrong is happening (or something right, not happening). Urgency, deadlines, unpredictability are your companions in IT recruiting.

As an IT recruiter, you are supposed to do what your customer or your customer HR department cannot do. From the very beginning, you have high expectations to meet.

You have to handle multiple projects at once, react rapidly, adjust as quick as possible, never rest on self-assurance. Low level of stress resistance will in time get you very tired and impair you’re your functionality as human being.

On the other hand, high scores on this factor, means that stress will only energize you, keep you running and give rather serotonin, than adrenaline and other stress hormones. Might get you addicted, be aware! ?

Impulse control

Rush you process and you will lose your candidate, no matter how good your job is. You have to listen, pace yourself to your candidates’ rhythm so that you can build rapport with them.

React impulsively to your hiring managers and will hardly see any hiring for their teams.

High scores on this one will keep you clear minded, open to better and more useful options. And having options is something that you always have to look for in IT recruiting.

Reality testing

This one is my favorite one! Why is that? Let me tell you a story.

O former colleague of mine, IT recruiter, told me once:

“Radu, what say you if I close this project this month?”.

I asked: “How would you know that?”

“Well, I scheduled a discussion with a candidate, next week”.

“But how could you possibly know that you will close the job with this candidate?” I replied? 

“Radu, I just feel it. Let me be optimistic! If we are not positive in our thinking, than we are lost”

As you already might have guessed, the job was never closed with that candidate, and not by that recruiter.

IT recruiters with low and very low scores on this factor are either overly optimistic, or rigid in their magical thinking. They believe they have some kind of magical wand with which they cast “hiring spells” on their candidates. They are also utterly blind to the fact that their candidates are most likely talking to other recruiters too.

Of course, in the end, it is never their fault. Candidates are not good, jobs not attractive enough, management does not motivate them enough, water has to many atoms of hydrogen and too few of oxygen….

On the other hand, IT recruiters with high reality testing scores will always be aware of what is happening and never, but never ever, will they consider a job closed before the candidate starts working first day at job.

IT recruiters with high reality testing scores will always be aware of what is happening and never, but never ever, will they consider a job closed before the candidate starts working first day at job.


Also, being keen on their environment they will make the most of their candidate and hiring manager feedback. They will never replace reality with dreams or hopes. They will keep them in separate boxes, and that makes them highly effective in their work.


The second most favorite is this one, because in shows that feedback is working. I am also a strong believer of the NLP presumption “the most flexible behavior will always have more chances of succes”.

The most flexible behavior will always have more chances of success

Is one thing to have a pair of scissors, it is another thing to have a swiss army knife. True in nature, true in recruiting, the more diversified you are in your strategies, the more chances of achieving your objectives, you have.

Being rigid, reluctant to change, is a recipe for being left behind in IT recruiting. There are some tips and tricks that are more resistant in time, but things change too often not to be all ears and eyes on how you can improve your work.

Your candidates are on constant learning, so should you. At least in IT recruiting.

Problem Solving

In business and also in recruiting, problems are everywhere. If it is hard for you finding solutions to every single problem you face, you might have unrealistic expectations about your job.

There will always be a situation you did no foresee. There will always be a chance you get ghosted by your candidate. Or your candidate does not show to the interview. The ability to find solutions will keep you going trustful that you can handle the project and help your customer close the job.

If you have catastrophic perceptions about the problems, unable to quickly react with a proper solution, the job of an IT recruiter might seem too daunting and also exhausting for you


Remember the story I told when we were at Reality Testing. Actually, my colleague was right about having a positive outlook about your job and projects. If you cannot be trustful about closing them, that means your customer is in the wrong hands. The key is to have this trait properly mixed with reality testing, and flexibility. Listen, adjust, observe, repeat. In NLP and psychology, we called T.O.T.E. strategy (testing, operation, testing, exit).

Having low scores will impact your relations with your candidates and hiring managers. Business is a bet on the future. Lack of optimism is equal to lack of trust in future, and business does not work absent trust.


Well, I recommend having high scores on Happiness factor not only to IT recruiters, but to everybody. I just want to say that happiness is not something you find or encounter, but rather something you do. You set yourself goals and with every step you come closer to them you become happier about them. Instead of being miserable about the things you cannot do or change, you should rather be happy about the things you accomplish.

With so much stress and work to do, being happy about having projects closed is something every experienced IT recruiter has as an emotional routine.

Being always worried and incapable of celebrating succes is rather a bad emotional habit that leads to exhaustion and abandonment.


So, in the end, if you are a dummy from the emotional point of view, better not try your teeth into this profession, as they might brake easily. On the other hand, provided with the necessary motivation and cognitive intelligence, IT recruiting might be a solution of rapidly increasing your EI score (not the easiest one, I would say. For more comforting strategies, try a therapist, but it can be a very long journey). Bare in mind, it can also crush your ego.

Many join the industry, part of them resist, only few of them thrive!

I am Radu Bonchis, CEO of AMS Human Resources, and I love sharing with you untold stories about IT recruiting!

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